CurvyDiva Speaks

Your heart will be touched and you will realize how blessed your are....

2011-09-21T07:13:00.002-05:00

I came across this blog recently - http://randycourtneytripproth.blogspot.com/

The story of Tripp hit my Little Man hard - and he said that he wants to be a research scientist so little babies like Tripp won't have to hurt anymore.

Read about little Tripp and the other children suffering from Epidermolysis Bullosa..... the poem below was written by Tripp's mom - Courteney. If your children are healthy - hug them a little tighter tonight. If you have a "special" needs or sick child - God has a special place for all the little children....

I'll need a Pinky-swear
As he lies in my lap
And together we sway
I rock him to sleep
And meanwhile I pray:

"Dear God, I know you can see us
And you're watching from above
Filled with sadness for him, as we are,
And equally in love.

I've never once asked You "why?"
Nor questioned if You were near.
But I do have one request tonight,
I pray that you will hear.

When it's time for You to call him home,
And my hope turns into despair,
I will need more than a promise from You,
I'll need a pinky-swear...

That you will hold him close to Your chest,
And say "I love you" all day long.
That you will rock him 'til your knees get sore,
And sing his favorite songs.

Tell me that You'll keep him safe,
So I will not be distressed.
Tell me that he'll will get his wings
And tell me he'll be blessed.

Let me know he made it safely,
Without a single blister or bleed,
Let me know that you will do MY job,
To fulfill his every need.

I have to know that you will love him,
Just as much, or more, than I do.
And when he finally speaks a word,
That You'll record it so I can hear, too.

My buddy is going to need Your help,
With so much yet to learn.
Like using a spoon, writing his name,
And having to wait his turn.

God, please be patient when he tries,
For he's such a sweet and loving boy.
Please give him every thing he wants,
But make sure he shares his toys.

These are things I'll miss out on,
Like no Mommy should have to do.
So don't let one milestone go unnoticed,
Please, I'm begging You.

He likes Elmo's ducks, The Three little Pigs,
Shoo Fly and Counting to Four.
Big Green Tractor, Rise and Shine.
And when they stop, he'll tell you "more."

He holds certain toys in certain hands,
And says yes with a big smile.
Please spend some extra special time,
And talk with him awhile.

It breaks my heart to have to think
That he won't graduate from school.
Or go to prom, or have kids of his own,
Or even break a single rule.

Tell him for me- please don't forget,
That I wanted him to stay.
That I tried and tried to ease his pain,
But it was only YOU who knew the way.

I know you have a choir of angels,
Who play music while they fly.
And if they need a drummer boy-
Well, my Tripp, he's their guy!

You've probably seen it for yourself,
That he's one brave kid, indeed.
But he'll be scared if You have to leave,
So stay with him, I plead.

If he has to go to Heaven first,
I'll make one promise back to You-
I'll miss him every second he's gone,
And spend the rest of my life trying to get there, too.

I hope that's not too much to ask,
And I trust You'll do your best.
To fill my spot, just temporary,
And answer my requests.

Thank in advance, Dear God.
Because I know You're a busy man.
I trust in You and in Your Will
And know You have a plan."

Words just simply can't express
To my only son who just turned two-
How very much my heart will ache
If that rocking chair is without you.

So dear sweet angel baby of mine,
If we ever have to say goodbye...
I'll rock you in my heart forever,
Until we meet again in the sky.

A Whirlwind Weekend

2011-09-20T07:21:00.002-05:00

Being a WOTH (work outside the home) mom has its very rough weeks. Last week seemed to drag on forever. Little Man is working on numeral writing. He did well in Pre-K , but he traced - now he has to do them on his own. He is actually really good at math - he adds very well for his age and gets subtraction - but actually writing the letters is another game.

We are struggling with this whole mommy teaching me to do things and me having to do them to her expectations - so maybe I need to take a chill pill. He is hard on himself, just a mirror image of me at that age, but I did have more focus. We will get through it though.

Saturday was a whirlwind - we got up early - the grandparents took Miss M to her baby gym class where another baby was taught the blow kisses after they say M do it last week :) Highest form of flattery! We took Little Man to his first karate belt trials - he was a little wiggly at first, but once he broke a board with his foot - he suddenly stood taller. He did a great job and is now a gold belt! He couldn't wait to get to karate yesterday so he could he could wear his new belt and be an example to the other white belts.

We also went to a birthday party at a local nature center. The family and their friends are wonderful, so we are reaching out to be more "social." It's funny when you marry someone who is not a social butterfly, you tend to draw back too - not that its bad - it’s just not the way I used to be. The interesting thing was the group leader - this lady obviously didn't have her coffee. She was so grabby, grousing at the kids. Little Man got the brunt of it - when he asked to touch a frog. She said "What did I say to you, just wait." and "I said I didn't have a frog, I only have a toad.”. She also expected a group of 5 and younger to know what metamorphosis was by saying "I know you this." Hey lady - they don't! The best though was when she explained how to tell a male turtle from a female - and the reason the male had a dent in his shell was so he wouldn't fall off the female when fertilizing her eggs - and proceeded to our the male shell on a fake female turtle...creepy!

Lastly, we took some afternoon naps as we were all tired - and headed off to a local county fair. The smells of concession row were drawing us - I have never seen so many concessions at the fair and they were mostly locals and the food was decently priced. Of course Little Man rode the rides and and spent gobs of ours and the grandparents money winning cheap stuffed animals - but he has a blast. Miss M got to play the duck pond game and got herself a little Clifford and she rode one ride with daddy and her brother. A great fair - and we will be back next year! One of the best in the area we have been to (we avoid our own county fair).

Then on Sunday, after church - we went to pick apples. It was muddy, a long walk and the trees had been stripped - we were able to get some to bring home though - but everyone was crabby. We now have 20 lbs. of apples in the foyer….I don’t make pies – but I do make a nice low –carb crisp.

The kids and I basically passed out Sunday night from exhaustion – of course we were up at 5 a.m. Monday to start the week over again.

I am going to channel Hollywood and reboot again!

2011-09-16T11:58:00.002-05:00

I thought I was hitting it again back in July and already backslid like a reformed lady of the night at a used car salesman conference....

I read all these mom blogs and since I got to work every day, I don't have these profound words of wisdom that come from being a SAHM. Which does make me sad, but one does what one has to do, right? That's coming off pretty negative, guess I am having a negative day. A very full weekend is coming up. Little Man has his karate belt trials and a birthday party. The Divine Miss M will be going to gym w/her grandparents so Mr. Man and I can attend the belt trials and we are going to the local fair.

We will be taking a little weekend trip next week to Williamsburg for a birthday celebration for Mr. Man....

Anyhoo - Its TRIPLE coupons to .99 at Harris Teeter this week - there is a limit of 20 a day though per household and they will catch ya if you use the VIC card.

I have just discovered CityPockets - now I don't have to use a word doc to keep up with my group coupon deals - sign up now if you too have to use a spreadsheet for your deals from Groupon, Zozi, etc CITYPOCKETS - CLICK ME

I AM BACK!

2011-07-13T08:00:00.002-05:00

I realize that I have not touched this blog in years...but I have had a lot on my mind that I have to get out!
The new blog will highlight the following:
Ways to save $$$
Fun things to do with the kids (free, anyone)
Products that I have loved or tried

So sit back and grab a TRENTI (haven't had one yet, but its 7 oz. more than a Venti...but they won't do my Decaf Americano ...poo)

And ENJOY!

2007-09-09T19:05:00.000-05:00

OK - yes, this has been around for weeks - but it makes me tap my foot still! Loving it!

I am still alive

2007-09-09T18:50:00.001-05:00

Well, its been nearly a year since my last post. I changed jobs in Feb 07, and have zero connection to the outside world, but I am going to start blogging again. Look for more updates!

Santa was a Jerk!

2006-12-08T12:45:00.000-05:00

I am a Rankin-Bass fan...love all those odd little holiday specials...but I have to agree...in Rudolph - SANTA was a jerk...see for yourself

Gobble Til Ya Wobble

2006-11-29T08:34:00.000-05:00

Ah - Thanksgiving! We ended up having 2 Thanksgiving meals. The first,prepared lovingly by family was at Aunt Ruth's house. It was nice to get together with family. A and K had a great time getting all the attention. A wore a very smashing blue velvet jumper - he LOVED that. I guess we actually had 3 Turkey meals, since we had turkey/dressing on Tuesday prepared by Whole Foods (love that deli counter!)

The 2nd was prepared by Daddy P - delish! We brought home a plate for the pups - they were in doggie heaven!

I made my hashbrown and green bean casserole. TASTY goodness. We didn't have any to bring home.

I have vowed to get back on my South Beach plan to see if that helps with my tiredness. I have been consuming more sugar than I normally do and with the extra pounds added by the Prednisone - I am not feeling my best. It would be nice to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. It was hard to lose all the baby weight and then gain 15 lbs after the steroids...sigh....what's a girl to do...

WinkFlash - cheap prints

2006-11-08T12:39:00.000-05:00

I just started to scrapbook and have been ordering my prints from places like Kodak and Shutterfly.

I have found a new source - WinkFlash. They prints are cheap - $0.12 for 4x6 prints and $.99 for shipping on 4x6 prints! Super deals!

Use their coupon code and get 50 free prints - WF23EA73

Enjoy!

Poor Poor Me

2006-11-02T15:06:00.000-05:00

Just as I thought - 9 vials of blood later - the doc tells me - test results are normal. So now I get to wait until I am in a flare-up, NOT take anything and come back so she can 1) see the rash/joints and 2) run MORE BLOODWORK!

Can I just say that I am sick of this? I know there are people who suffer with years with illness they can't name/find - well its been a year and I have had intermittent flare-ups for the last 6 months. Some nights I can't sleep and some days, it hurts to just breathe. I just want to find out what this is, so I can move on with my life.

Rash Rash Rash

2006-10-25T11:52:00.000-05:00

Well, I am at the end of a 4 weeks outbreak of whatever the heck I have. Could it be Still's Disease or do I have Celiacs Disease - hopefully we will know soon. The vampires at the dr's office took 9 - yes 9 VILES of blood on Monday to run a bunch more tests on me. I am back on Prednisone (so much for the diet) for a few weeks to get this outbreak under control. The joint pain was much better after about 3 days, but I still have a lovely red rash covering about 50% of my body. This time the arms and back itched like no tomorrow - that only happened the 1st outbreak. The 2nd one (4 wks after little man arrived) didn't itch at all, but the joint pain was worse.

There have been several nights the last few weeks were I have been nothing but miserable- pins and needles - like my skin is going to crawl off. That's better now, so I am in a better mood! Dr Oracle has to help out more when I am in an outbreak because my wrists/fingers/hands don't move as well...I am too young to feel this $#*@ old!

New Website

2006-10-25T11:50:00.000-05:00

I have created a new webpage- Right now, its just little man, but hey I hope to add more.

This is his little site/blog about life as a little dude - check it out! Right now its open - but if I have to do so, I will PW protect it.

https://www.babyhomepages.net/piersonpumpkins/index.php

Remembrance Photography -

2006-10-19T13:57:00.000-05:00

Dealing with the death of a child - either through miscarriage, stillbirth or whenever is never an easy thing to deal with - Although I never speak of it outside family - I suffered a loss in 2004 that I will never, ever forget.

One site supports infant bereavement photography. I please everyone to sign their petition to raise awareness for this subject!

My heart goes out to all the parents listed and for the countless others who have had to face this kind of tragedy.

Going Crazy Man

2006-10-12T10:23:00.000-05:00

I have never been good at puzzles/riddles - my mind just has trouble with these concepts. I have been struggling this morning trying to get through Batch 1 of these puzzles

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Count to 23 - I was tagged

2006-10-04T06:57:00.000-05:00

I was tagged....

January 30, 2006 - "I had gotten dry sockets in both of the teeth."
I wrote this blog as a follow up to my first ever root canal. I have the most sensitive teeth (several DDS have said so) and hard to numb - so I need several shots, gas and more recently have been getting valium to get any dental work. But I was pregnant this time and could not get gas or even take Advil. It turned out OK - not pleasant, but not the end of the world

Actually right now I am having the worst toothaches (MAYBE WORSE THAN THE DRY SOCKETS) - I pray its not an abscessed tooth - but merely a reaction from all the sinus/cold stuff that Boo and I have been dealing with for the last 2 weeks. Dr. Oracle was sick but got over it by staying home from work 1 day - I am still dealing with it and throbbing pain in the left hand side of my face. I am now on antibiotics to get rid of any infection - but yesterday was so bad, I went to the ladies room and cried a little.

For those who I have not tagged and you want to play along

THE RULES:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five people to do the same.

Little Man Photo Contest Entry

2006-10-03T10:23:00.000-05:00

I have entered little man into a Photo contest - your daily votes are appreciated!

American Baby Contest

If it won't take you right to his page - the entry # is 1662300001

Half a year is already gone...

2006-09-27T14:28:00.000-05:00

Boo is 6 months old today! I stopped taking the pill back in 2001. It would not be until June 2004 that I would learn that I had PCOS. I would have to use fertility drugs.

I got pregnant in October 2004, but on Thanksgiving started to bleed...I had an ectopic pregnancy. - 5 ultrasounds and 2 shots of methotrexate-It would not be until January 2005 that the pregnancy would officially end. I still cry.

I had just gotten a new job when we learned we were pregnant again (Clomid 150mg/Metformin 2000mg). I worried for the next 8 months about everything.

Boo was early by almost 4 weeks, but he came into the world a healthy little man.

I can't wait to see what the next 6 months brings and the rest of our lives.

Mommy loves you so very much little man!

2 down

2006-09-26T16:26:00.000-05:00

Well the scale moved down 2 lbs this week - not a huge loss but a healthy one - plus I have chocolate cake last Friday. So I am now 14lbs away from 1st goal...back to pre-pregnancy weight.

Failing...

2006-09-21T15:38:00.000-05:00

Well I am failing on this 30 in 30 challenge. I don't seem to have the same willpower as I did the first time around with lo-carb. I take each day at a time, buit so far the scale has NOT gone down....sigh.

30 in 30

2006-08-30T09:01:00.000-05:00

I started low carb back in June 2004,when I was told I had PCOS - and by that December I had dropped 65lbs! I felt great. I had a medical/emotional issue in Nov/Dec 04 - that was very hard for me to get over (still struggling), I got laid off Jan 05, took a bad job Feb 05-July 05 and then got pregnant.

Needless to say, I have put on about 20 of those lost pounds and had gotten away from the lo-carb lifestyle. I still limit my sugar, but I have become more free with the "treats".

So when I get back from vacation on September 11 - I am going to start the 30lbs in 30 weeks challenge offered by LivinLaVidaLoCarb. I am already stocking the house with some lo-carb favorites like Beef Jerky and Pork Rinds. I tend to stick closer to South Beach, you get more carbs, fruit and less fat than Atkins. I hope to start CURVES back up as well.

I am going to break out my ole cookbooks and can't wait to try Shirataki noodles. I don't plan on posting my weights - but I will share the lbs lost or gained!

Tears of a Clown

2006-08-29T09:24:00.000-05:00

I have always found Clowns a bit creepy - but this is a sad story from Ireland.

BUY OUR SHIRTS

2006-08-24T13:17:00.000-05:00

Check out my new link for some T-shirts created by Dr Oracle and Code Monkey. CurvyDiva will have some on there soon...buy buy buy!

Cheapest Puppets Ever

2006-08-22T11:36:00.000-05:00

Ok Ok..I love some children's programming...I am a HUGE Bear fan. I went to see the stage show at MGM a few years ago and I own 2 stuffed Bears - all before I became a momma

I am at a loss though over this baby/toddler show - Oobi "Oobi, a bare-hand puppet (with eyes and accessories)" That's right - IT'S A HAND and Oobi has a HAND family members. It's disturbing, but I find myself oddly interested in the stilted way the hands "speak"

I am searching for the stellar programs for little man...not sure if this is it...

Laugh out Loud

2006-08-22T10:53:00.000-05:00

On August 14 - A gave Nain a little giggle. I missed it and was so very sad...well August 17 - I got rewarded!

Oracle and I were having some Maggie Moo's and A started giving daddy eyebrows and smiling - pretty much saying "give me some daddy - you know you want to do that" ...of course no ice cream for little man...BUT

I made a little face and he starts LAUGHING! I made faces and he laughed for a good 5 minutes. I have not been able to get him to repeat it yet though...

STRESS!

2006-08-17T08:02:00.000-05:00

I wish I could take a vacation and not have the stress of worrying about my family's financial well being. We are going on vacation first week in September and my gov contract is up for renewal - there is a chance a new company could win and I would be unemployed! Since I am on a gov contract - my company puts you "on the bench" for 2 weeks to see if you can find another place before they show you the door. I was on the bench after returning my maternity leave since my other contract had been cancelled while on leave and they knew better than to do it while I was on leave - can we say lawsuit...anyho - here I am again.

The last 3 years have been filled with this. Each trip to Ft Lauderdale has been filled with job worry - and last year's vacation to update NY was filled with fear since I was starting a new job on my return. I guess I will worry no matter what - better to worry on the beach. I am just concerned about the $ I could be saving by staying home, but I would be out about $500 since the tickets and car are already paid for...I am not sure what to do yet.

Baby Floyd?

2006-08-16T09:12:00.000-05:00

M- this is for you and the little man - Baby Floyd

Monkey - this one is for you and little A - Tool

Do you really want to hurt me....NY courts say yes!

2006-08-15T13:00:00.000-05:00

Oh George O'Dowd - have you have fallen. At least you are done with the whole black make-up on your neck phase - it didn't hide your double chin.

Man - he is looking old...
Karma Chameleon

Frying up a mess of Kitty...

2006-08-15T12:57:00.000-05:00

What is this world coming to...Here Kitty Kitty and why did he take his clothes off...to prevent them from getting oily.

Cute Overload!

2006-08-14T06:07:00.000-05:00

I am not the only one to find this site - since it won a 2006 Webby...but I thought I would pass it on - CUTE CUTE CUTE - http://www.cuteoverload.com/

SAUCER BABY...

2006-08-03T10:40:00.000-05:00

This is A's first real experience with the Exersaucer. This is Nain's - we have yet to get on...trying to save a few bucks and get one on E-Bay, but no luck yet.

He seems to like it IF he is in a good mood - otherwise BEWARE or his alternate ego will appear.

Just being...

2006-08-01T13:29:00.000-05:00

I seem to get a touch of the melancholy several times a year. Lately, I have been BORED at work so I have a lot of time to think about my life. I have my son (which I thank God for everyday) and my husband (God gets props for him too), but I don't seem to have that spark that I once had.

I am not sure if its because I have not acted in many years or what - but I just feel like I am existing.. I can't say its worse since A was born, just different. I mean now some one really needs me - so that's a different feeling. I am so happy to be a mommy, I love A and my time with him never seems to be enough - but there is still something missing

Maybe once I get the house in order and M starts the new job (and I see that is a good move) I will feel better.

Not a SAHM

2006-07-28T07:32:00.000-05:00

As we start to enter the days where "A" is more aware - I begin to feel even more guilty that I work 40 hrs a week and with the Still's acting up right now - don't seem to have a lot of energy to really "play" with him, cook dinner and pay attention to Bailey, Jasper and Daddy. I read this post - and am feeling a little better- even though its aimed at older children.

I totally agree - I don't remember my mom doing a lot with me. I am an only child and I learned to entertain myself. My dolls all had voices and personalities, I would read, and just do my own thing. I could spend the night away w/o being so attached to my parents. I hope to raise an intelligent, aware child - that loves and needs his mommy and daddy - just not be obsessed with us!

Baby update and TIME....

2006-07-27T06:43:00.000-05:00

A was 11lbs 4 ounces, 25 inches long at his 4 month well baby. Shots did not go very well - poor baby. They made me HOLD HIM! OMG - that did not go well for mommy!

As A hits 4 months - I look around at the wreck that is our home. I have trouble keeping up with brushing my teeth -let alone clean. Well, first - I hate to clean. My mom has OCD and used to vacuum like 3 times a day. I vowed never to be that person. On the other hand - while not "dirty" (read- unhealthy and bacteria ridden) our home is cluttered.

We are pack-rats and probably will continue to be. We have decent stuff, just too much of it for the little townhome. We decluttered a lot before A was born - but being early- we never finished and then he came. I am trying to find ways to spend time with him (#1 in my book) and get the house in some kind of order. We spent like 4 hrs Sunday working - OK I spent 3 since I napped with A for an hr. Daddy was folding laundry with A in the Bjorn- TOO CUTE!!!!

I need to get my mail sorting back in order and go through my closets again. We also need to clean our storage unit so the space is better used. I WONT EVEN MENTION THE GARAGE - its painful...it was clean but every time my parents visit they somehow manage to "straighten" up and we can't even move in there now. Maybe we can get Uncle B and Taid over one Sunday to help in the garage. House is looking better - since M is in a better mood - I suspect the house will get into shape very very soon!

A Milestone week!

2006-07-24T07:56:00.000-05:00

It seems A is having a Milestone week. On 7/20/06, he started to REALLY vocalize. He had been "talking" a lot, but it seems he really found his voice.

On 7/21/06 - he started to really lift his head for tummy time AND realized he could make himself roll over. He had been rolling over for about a month - but now I think he has learned what he needs to do to repeat the action - not just doing it by accident!

My baby is growing up so fast - time to start working on #2! (If my dreams and family dreams are accurate - it might be #2, #3 and #4! I had dreams of triplets, Aunt P had dreams of twins!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

THERAPY AND FALLING TEDDY BEARS

2006-07-20T11:33:00.000-05:00

Well - I finally got batteries in the PackNPlay mobile. A wanted it moved closer, so I told Daddy to move it to the side - that worked for about 2 minutes. NOTE TO SELF- PLASTIC ON PLASTIC IS SLIPPERY!

The mobile ended up falling into the crib with A - OMG - he was hysterical. Daddy and I are to blame for A's later therapy when he talks of "falling teddies."

Withdrawal

2006-07-20T11:20:00.000-05:00

I am having withdrawal on my Diet Coke with Splenda. The deli in my office has stopped ordering the delicious brown soda- so I am stuck with a Diet A&W today. I have to bring in my own cans from home from now on I guess – I cannot make it through the day on no caffeine – this job is BORING! While the new job is not stressful- it makes for LONG, BORING days.
It’s funny how not having your favorite soda can ruin the day. I guess I will just have to step out for a Starbucks.

Big Boy

2006-07-19T06:29:00.000-05:00

Well - Last night A slept in his crib for the 1st time! Our bedroom was so warm, we thought he would be happier on his cooler bedroom. He did well - cried a little - but we tucked him in and gave him his Wubby. He woke up about 2 hrs later because he was hungry - so Daddy gave him a small bottle and he slept from 11 to about 5:30 this morning! He seemed well rested. We had not set up the monitor yet in his room, so Daddy slept in his office (in a chair) which is right next to his room.

It was a hard thing to do but I want him to be used to sleeping a room w/o us. I am not sure if we will do this every night or just a few nights a week. He is still on the smaller side - 16 wks and 11lbs, so we may keep him in our room another month.

Mommy is sad to see her little man already growing so fast...it's a hard thing to watch.

Baby P's 1st swim

2006-07-17T06:57:00.000-05:00

A took his 1st swim at Nain's pool on Friday - I attached a pic of him in his super -cute little "speedo" because I am in all the other pics and I don't need those floating on the 'net! LOL. He was a little iffy at first, but really enjoyed himself. Daddy missed it because he was working - so he was pretty bummed.

AM I REALLY NEEDED?

2006-07-14T13:09:00.000-05:00

I am not sure what's up - but I feel like the worst mother ever. I feel like A does not love or need me...I mean how much "love" can a 3.5 month old show - yet, every day I feel like I am not needed. Hubby tries to get to give myself a break, but I just can't do that...I wonder if all working mothers have this struggle or if I am just odd.

Addictions....the 'Bucks

2006-07-14T13:00:00.000-05:00

I am now ready to admit my addiction to Starbuck's coffee. It's not the caffeine - really its not...it's the earthy bold taste of a nice hot cup o joe or the jolt of a 5 shot Decaf Americano - hot or iced! YUM YUM. My addiction is costly though, I usually stick to iced or hot "regular" coffees - it can cost $2-4 a day. I "Proudly Brew Starbucks coffee" at home. I like Caribou Coffee too! They have a really yummy mocha - very carby - so its a "treat"...here I go to take a quick work break for my 3rd - yes 3RD cup of the day.

Yes - its decaf. I only have 1 caffeine beverage a day otherwise the baby would be bouncing off the ceiling!

Back from BEYOND THE GRAVE....

2006-07-10T12:56:00.000-05:00

I spent the last 4 days recovering from a TERRIBLE bout of food poisoning. I am sure it was the innocent little Oscar Meyer weenie I had on Wednesday night as a low carb snack before dinner.

I woke up at 3 a.m. on Thursday - with terrible stomach pains and an upset tummy. The nausea started 2 hrs later. I ran a temp pretty close to 104 the entire day. Mr Man took care of me Thursday and the fever finally broke on Friday about 4:30 a.m. - well went down to about 101. I missed 2 days of work - CAN'T SAY I MISSED IT - LOL - and took it easy over the weekend.

Keeping the American Spirit of Consumerism alive

2006-07-05T11:40:00.000-05:00

That's is what we did this 4th - shopped, shoped and shopped. Sales were to be had every place we went. I got hubby $300 suit jackets at JC Penny's for $11.83 - YES THAT'S RIGHT!!!!! Picked up last of baby stuff for $2-3 per 3 piece outfit.

But the crowning achievement was the MFIL tote that I will be sporting this fall...

I have been wanting a MFIL - this was not my first pick, but it was a good price. I will keep searching for the perfect deal on an MFIL...now I must see how much damage was done to the old credit cards!

Overwhelmed

2006-06-27T13:21:00.000-05:00

I am just feeling overwhelmed lately. I have a 3 month old, 2 jobs and its just starting to get to be too much.

I collapse in bed at 10 every night and up again at 5 a.m. - what's a girl to do?

3 Months

2006-06-26T12:25:00.000-05:00

Well - we had a check-up today since the little man had only gained 14 0z between 1 and 2 months. He made up for it this month! WOW!

He weighs 10lbs (25%), is 23.1/4 (60%) inches long with a head circumference of 15.5 inches (45%)!

Its amazing how fast he is growing. I am sad...

2 Months- Belated upload

2006-06-22T09:24:00.000-05:00

I had this picture taken at 9.5 weeks. Peanut will be 13 weeks on Monday - wow - time has just flown. His little face has matured so much in the past 3 months.

I am so sad to see my little one disappear every day as he changes into a "BABY". Soon he will be a toddler and so on...part of me wishes to keep him this way forever. His daddy is very excited to see him grow.

I am not sure where he got all that red hair! Some days it looks more blonde than red. I had reddish hair when I was born, but as it grew in- it turned blonde. We shall see what the little man's turn out to be....

SUCKED IN

2006-06-21T09:10:00.000-05:00

Well - I always make a big deal (ok mock) DH for his need to purchase the exclusive of his little plastic men (Marvel, DC, yadda yadda yadda) . If Wal-Mart has an exclusive, he MUST have it.

I collect Barbies and have for about 10 years now. I have been sucked into the exclusives. I am now chasing the allusive career Silkstone's that had original releases in various countries. Will they be released in the US - yes at some time - but I MUST have these little dolls. Since I don't know people in Singapore and the like- I am bound by E-bay. So far I have secured 3 of the 5 dolls....I need the nurse and the stewardess to complete my collection.

It took me about 3 years to finally collect the entire Wizard of OZ porcelain collection - THANK GOD for E-bay....

Do I have room for more Barbies - NO. Do I need these dolls - NO. Do I even take them out of the box to "play" with them - NO. Do I want them - YES YES YES.

I am now as sad as DH......sigh......

Check 'em out
http://www.barbiecollector.com/showcase/series.asp?series_id=150034

Asher's Room

2006-06-19T07:46:00.000-05:00

He is not sleeping in here yet - but we finally got him a Sterns and Foster Baby Dynasty mattress for the bed! We got a bedding set as well since the Really FANCY one I got before he arrived really did not go with the room. Marco outlined the goose and mom did all the painting. It was a freehand deal with everything, except Ms. Mother Goose.

I AM BACK!

2006-06-19T07:30:00.000-05:00

Well, I have come back to my blog after Asher's birth on March 27th. I am going to keep it short today - just a hello to say I am coming back!

I have been Tagged!

2006-03-15T12:45:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by Heather!

Four jobs you have had in your life:

Training Projects Manager
Pre-School Teacher
Theater Camp Instructor
Check out girl at a grocery store

Four movies you would watch over and over:

Four places you have lived:

Gaithersburg, MD
Harrison, AR
Tulsa, OK
Cuero, TX

Four TV shows you love to watch:

Four places you have been on vacation:

New York, NY
Las Vegas, NV
Orlando, FL
Cooperstown, NY

Four websites I visit daily:

Four of my favorite foods:

Chopped Salads
Peanut Butter
Strawberries
Good Ribeye

Four places I would rather be right now:

At home with my FurKids
On vacation
Shopping
NYC!

Four friends who I have tagged that I think will respond:

Code Monkey
Drena - Email
Mandy- Email
Laura-Email

The Stroller

2006-03-09T15:04:00.000-05:00

34 wks...and counting. Every day I get slower and slower.
I start to run out of steam about 2 in the afternoon.
I managed to go the grocery store and cook dinner last night - but I would have to take a break between activities to sit.

Since not much is going on - I am just posting the crap we have bought for "Reggie"
Here is the stroller. It's a 2005 model, (I know - last years) but we saved some money and there is already an infant seat that MIL purchased - so that saves some more money.

I wanted the $900 Bugaboo - but then I figured that was just stupid since I drive a cheap Hatchback. I would not want the stroller to upstage my car.

Ordered Furniture

2006-03-09T14:38:00.000-05:00

Well - 33 wks, 6 days and counting....I am tired of being pregnant.

We finally ordered the furniture. I ended up with a different style, but the same maker. My rocker/glider came on Tuesday. We have to get rid of the non-baby stuff from the room still - so it’s a work on progress. Luckily the furniture takes 8-12 wks to come arrive. We got a darker color than you see here - but this is the set. We did not get the armoire, but opted for the 5 drawer dresser instead. We got the other dresser in the picture, but with a hutch for "Reggie's" library. Daddy needs to stop buying books!!

Tired of being pregnant - 32 wks.

2006-02-23T12:51:00.000-05:00

Well I am tired of being pregnant and I am tired of all the drama that comes with it. There is some "shower" drama. At this point, I don't even want a shower.

Although not sure what choice I will make about delivery (natural or C-section), I am sure that either way - I want no family there. In fact, some people will be lucky if they are even told I am labor. If it is a C-section, only hubby can be there anyway. At this point, I not sure I even want people to be in the lobby.

Seems my parents activities are more important than their grandchild - that's fine - at this point, they can come or not come.

I am to the point of just doing everything else myself. I am not sure I ever want to go through this again.

A Peek at "Reggie"

2006-02-08T12:27:00.000-05:00

Today we tried the 4-D imaging again. We went last week and had a very disappointing visit - he was breech and his face was plastered in the placenta. I was upset, but we decided to try one more time. For the first 10 mins - he was not cooperating. He had moved from breech- but was not showing his face. I started talking about the Britney Spears "stupid human tricks" with the baby in her lap. The sound of mommy's voice must have worked, because he started to turn and give it up. We never had trouble telling if he was a boy, because he was never ashamed to show the twigs and berries (well just twig)...but that face has been allusive.

Well- here is our "Reggie" to the right!

The Root has been Canaled

2006-01-30T12:19:00.000-05:00

Well, the root has been canaled. It was as terrible as I thought it would be (painwise) - but of course right now I am still numb. We shall see how it is in a few hours. I remember the wisdom teeth - I was in pain, but that night - thought I was going to die! I had gotten dry sockets in both of the teeth.

It was a very traumatic experience. They drill out your tooth and then stick a ton of little files up there to file it down. In addition, they clean it with Chloron - which is really food grade BLEACH! That got in my mouth and was NASTY. The sounds and smells were the worst part. I have a temp filling, so nothing hard or crunchy until I get the overlay done at my dentist. I can't even get fitted for another week, and it usually takes a few weeks for the piece to come in. I had to have a crown about 6 years back, since I broke a tooth. I had to walk around with a Chiclet looking thing in the back of my mouth for a few weeks. The overlay should be on the back and bite surface - so from the front - you will see my natural tooth. I am very vain - I hope that is the last root canal I will have to endure. The endo

THE HELL THAT WILL BE NEXT WEEK

2006-01-27T13:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I wish I had never noticed that little hole in my tooth, as it turns out – I will need a root canal. There is a chip and a cavity too close to the pulp.

This is extremely upsetting to me – first there is the expected pain of the procedure, but even more important is the idea that I am “losing” a tooth. I will get some pain relief and I believe that I can have codeine or vicodin afterwards. I have my GTT next week as well – pain will raise your sugar levels – so I am very concerned about this. I have been holding them down pretty well, but you can’t combat pain. I think I scared the dentist – I was crying so hard. He sent me to a specialist- hoping they can better manage my fear of the pain since it is what they do all day. I was very adamant about not getting a crown and looks like I can get an overlay – which retains more of the natural tooth. Who knows with my teeth – the root canal/overlay may actually be stronger than my natural teeth. I have weak teeth- but suffer from bruxism (I clench at night) and have a very strong bite. It wears down your teeth much faster than it should.

I HATE THE DENTIST. I have extremely sensitive teeth and even have to gas for a cleaning. It’s psychically and emotionally painful for me. About 6 yrs ago, I broke a tooth – it just broke – it had to be crowned. I cried the entire time- I was not even in pain – the thought of my tooth being ground down (even though a lot had just broken off) and the sound of the drill were too much for me. In feb/mar of 1998, I had my lower wisdom teeth removed w/o being put under. The oral surgeon thought they would just come out- WELL THEY DIDN’T! In fact, they broke and had to be sawed into pieces. She then had to pull the pieces out with tweezers. I got dry sockets in both and was miserable for weeks. I have more dental horror stories. I had about 6 teeth pulled aside from my wisdom teeth; my mouth is just too small. I wore back brackets on my teeth for years (even before my braces came on) to stretch my mouth – which is a main reason for some the problems I have today – You can’t brush well enough around brackets that nearly cover your whole teeth. I have straight teeth though – thanks to braces – let’s hope I can hold onto these teeth.

This #4 -2nd Bicuspid (2nd premolar) issue crept up on me – I am usually much more diligent about catching little things I think might even remotely be a cavity. I have weak teeth and it seems no matter what I do – I still get cavities. This has always been the case. My mother ended up with abscessed teeth after carrying me – so at the ripe old age of 23 – she had a top dental plate. These has been a fear my whole life – to be toothless or have to wear dentures. I have/had nightmares where my teeth fall out or they just crumble.

Those who have great teeth – please take care of them! I am going to re-dedicate myself to yearly exams. I am not sure I can handle it every 6 months – that is too traumatic for me. I am armed with my GelKam, Listerine and a Soni-care….sigh.

The only shining light next week is that we have a 4-D US at the baby picture place. Yes, we are spending the dough to get in-utero pics of the baby. This is a non-medical need -its just something DINKS do I think.....

New Boss

2006-01-18T13:39:00.000-05:00

Well, looks like my team is getting a new boss. My current boss is great, but he is being moved on to bigger and better things. One good thing is the new boss will be in VA, and I will be in MD. I am sure he is not really interested in what we do - so I hope he won't dissolve our group.

I just need to get through and come back from maternity leave - then I will be more at ease and able to look for a new position if the need arises. Right now, I have several projects that are going to require me through August - so that's good. One will take me through end of year!

25/26 Week Check-Up with the Doctor

2006-01-12T10:37:00.000-05:00

Well, I had a doctor’s appointment today. So far everything looks good. My blood pressure was fine and he is measuring right on. His heartbeat was 150. The doctor also said if I chose a C section, he was OK with that. We would talk about the risks, but he was fine performing one. I gained 2.5 lbs over the last 5 weeks – since it was Christmas and I ate what I wanted – that’s not too bad. Since I had recently lost 5.5, I am still at a loss so far!

I have the Glucose test in 3 weeks, which worries me since the PCOS already puts me in a higher risk bracket. There is not much I can do, except watch what I eat and exercise over the next few weeks. They would try a diet first, but since I already eat low-carb- most likely it would mean insulin. I am praying not to have to go through that!

Drum Roll - The Nursery Furniture Revealed!

2006-01-09T13:35:00.000-05:00

For those who know me – you know I am a cheapskate. Sure I love to shop and do buy designer items – but I also drive a Ford Focus – so that tells you about my frugality. I prefer to spend a little more though for quality. MIL and I searched for the perfect crib and furniture..I think we have a winner! They are top rated on the Baby Bargains and its pretty nice set. Now, I have to see if it will fit into our tiny room since I want to leave my daybed in there!

http://www.munirefurniture.com/Majesticone.html

No desire to shop

2005-12-29T08:45:00.000-05:00

Well as I start 25 wks of pregnancy, I am getting fat. I mean I am fat, have been fat since I was 14 and weighed more than I do now last year. But I am starting to feel “fat”. When I was heavier, I think I just accepted who I was and did not let it get to me (too much, OK I tried). I lost the 65 lbs and was feeling pretty good about myself. Now I am just starting to feel fat. I have lost 5 lbs with the pregnancy, but I can guarantee next Dr. appt – I will have gained that back and more. Even clothes hold no appeal – that’s big for me – HUGE! I have lost the desire to shop (insert sob here). I guess I am having a Julia Roberts “Pretty Woman” moment!

Gloom, despair and agony on me….and my credit cards.

I realize - I have no friends....

2005-12-29T08:39:00.000-05:00

Now that motherhood is approaching, I find that I have no friends that are local. What do I mean – well during high school and college, I had a plethora of friends. In college, I could be out with friends any given night. When I moved to grad school, that shifted some – but I still was a pretty busy person. Now, when I moved out here and got married – that is when things started to change and I am not sure why.

I think in the beginning I was just trying to get used to being completely away from all my family and friends. Then I was getting used to being a wife. I spent most of my time with my husband and his parents. As I moved into a new job, many of the people were older and I did not have a lot in common. I did meet someone who I consider to be one of my best friends, but that is about it – 5 yrs at one company and only 1 real “friend.”

At the next job, I pretty much was alone in my department – so no friends there. At the next job, things picked up a bit and I stay in touch with 2 people from that job, since I was only there 4 months- I find that pretty good. At the current job, I don’t see any real possibility of making a “connection”

I know MIL wants to do a shower – but I am thinking – who the heck would I invite – I really have no friends in the area. How sad will it be to sit around with my MIL and like 2 other people – that is so pathetic. I am still trying to figure out what happened to me – when I become anti-social. Don’t get me wrong, I am always busy – I usually just hang out with DH or his family. Hey I like my MIL and FIL – sue me. I was very lucky in that department.

I am so glad that a DH’s friend may be moving back to that area and he brings his wife, Heather. Heather and I did not get too much time to bond while they were here, but we have been keeping in touch – so I am hopeful we can move our friendship to another level – one where we hang out W/O the husbands..hahaha!

What happened to me is all I want to know….

MEETING WITH THE BOSS - BIG NEWS

2005-12-12T16:37:00.000-05:00

I had a big meeting scheduled today - after being over an hour late - I finally got a few minutes.

Well – the mtg went better than I expected.

Just to let you know, I will be taking some short term disability in April for about 6-8 wks. Why, you ask…yeah – you guessed it…going to squeeze out a baby boy!

Well – he seemed to take it well and suggested if we could move up the delivery to the next few weeks – and then rest up for a month, it would be better for the projects in 2006. He said, you can plan a C section right? HAHA! He does this to me all the time – last week he said I was being moved to our Richmond office when I asked about our office move. He said “Thanks for the heads up and congratulations”

So I was stressed – now I still have to tell one of the guys I work with – who is not technically my manager – he might not take it as well – he is single, over 40 with no kids. Technically – he is not my boss though!

I am still worried about my job – but at least it’s out there now.

Past self was a packrat!

2005-12-05T14:41:00.000-05:00

Well – we are still waiting to hear about our contract…Customer is coming over tomorrow to “talk” – not sure what that means. But we have submitted 4 or 5 proposals in the last few months. I am still trying to drum up some business in other areas – even though I don’t think I will be very successful.

Anyhow – we are doing the massive CLEAN the HOUSE before MOM arrives. We have been working on this for week’s – yes our house needs that much work. Why you ask – well for about the last 2 yrs we sort of stopped caring. Now don’t get me wrong – we are not a candidate for Clean Sweep (junky) or Clean House (downright filthy) – we just have tons and tons of clutter. Also, our past selves have worked against us by “storing” things away in boxes, bins – whatever. We are taking the time to actually clean all of these little crap piles that are hiding around the house and in our garage. It’s still a work in progress and we have a deadline, so we have to get it done…but I don’t think the house will be this clutter free/clean since we moved in!

Poor Marc is “labor” – I sort – he carries. I have the easy job, he goes to bed aching. I go to bed exhausted, but in a different way. But it will all be worth it – new flooring for Xmas, some new furniture …it’s all good. Even though I am feeling very overwhelmed!

PANIC

2005-11-29T11:36:00.000-05:00

The effects of the allergic reaction are starting to wear off – finally. I am able to move pretty well and have only had a few flare-ups. I am reducing the steriod – which can cause extreme fatigue and more flare-ups.

Right now, I am dealing with an old friend of mine – Anxiety attacks. I have a lot – a lot of stress in my life right now. I am currently very very concerned about my J-O-B. It seemed when I was hired – there was a ton of work. Now, we are waiting for contracts and for some reason…My mgr thinks I am a sales person, who need to drum up some contracts. I am a Program/Project Mgr – not a sales mgr. Plus, I don’t even know about 90% of the contracts we have going on.

Well, let’s just say I am terrified of getting laid off again this year – since right now, I make the most money. In addition – It’s not the best time for me to even look for a job (more about that in a few wks).
So my panic attacks are back. They start simple – I worry and then my heart races. It usually ends up with me shaking, breathless and ill.

I am at a point where I just don’t know what to do.

Still in Pain -Feeling like a MLB player...

2005-11-17T10:51:00.000-05:00

Well Tuesday I was feeling better, but started to swell up terribly that night. Ended up back at Dr’s on Wednesday – barely able to move. DH had to dress me and drive me around. I was put on a stronger, longer lasting steroid since I was swollen like a balloon. I managed to work Wednesday by typing with one finger on my left hand.

The new steroids have started to make a small difference, but I am still in a lot of pain. Going to NYC tomorrow- that should be fun…NOT!

Antibiotics are EVIL!

2005-11-15T14:59:00.000-05:00

Well the last few weeks have been a living hell! First, I get a very serious sinus infection. I spent about 5 days with a fever going from 100 to 102.7 off and on. I ended up in the ER at 3:45 a.m. when my temp went over 103. I was told that it’s just a sinus infection, so take the antibiotics. We got some other potentially bad news on Tuesday, November 8th that caused me a lot of stress. Well on Wednesday, I started getting little red hives on my chest. I figured it was stress and I had gotten really warm.

On Thursday, November 10th – more stressful news about our office eventually moving to Nova – that’s when I noticed the red blotches had moved on to my arms. Come Friday – I had red hives on my back, chest, arms, one leg and my stomach. My back and arm itched like there was no tomorrow. I also noticed that my left shoulder really hurt. Figuring I had slept on it funny – I did not think anything of it.

Come Saturday – I had more hives and my other leg had broken out. I was taking Benedryl every 4 hours, oatmeal baths and was covered in every cream that we could find at the drugstore. The ones on my arms and chest started to not be so raised and itchy. My back was still bothering me and my other shoulder now hurt. Well I finally make it Sunday and that’s when all hell broke lose. The places that had started to heal now got little raised bumps that itched like crazy. All my joints started to hurt and swell. Marc got me wrist braces, since my wrists were really swollen. I was thinking I had LUPUS or an RA attack – of which I don’t think I have either – I was grasping at straws. I was about to have a nervous breakdown. I could not sleep, eat, or get any relief. I think I prayed for God to take me home a few times. I was running DH crazy as well, since nothing seemed to help.

Finally about 4 am on Monday morning – a baking soda pack, Claritin-D and Benedryl allowed me to get about 3 hours sleep. My joints were even more sore – now even my toes hurt. I went to the Dr. yesterday about 2:30 – to find out – I was ALLERGIC TO THE ANTIBIOTIC that I was given for the sinus infection. I had taken this kind before with no reaction – but low and behold – I now have an allergy. I am experiencing an auto-immune reaction. This means my immune system is attacking my joints to rid itself of the “invader” – I feel like I am 95. I am on steroids, but it will take a few days to start to work. I actually slept for a 4 hrs straight last night – which is something I had not done in well over a week.

I am still very sore and can barely move. My throat is so sore, I can barely swallow – but I am just happy to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Lestat is dead!

2005-10-26T12:58:00.000-05:00

This news is very sad to me – I recently found out my dear and dark writer of vampire tales has found God. That’s right – Anne Rice is now writing religious fiction based on the life of Jesus Christ!

Anne Rice or A. N. Roquelaure has written 25 creepy and super-natural books over the years – my fave’s being the Vampire chronicles. Yes, when in New Orleans - I went to find Lestat’s tomb and stood outside her home…that’s as far I go though. I do own the Vampire Chronicles dictionary to help you get through the series. I loved the movie (not Queen of the Damned though – that sucked) and most likely will drag the husband to see Lestat on Broadway.

While I am very happy Anne is healthy and starting to deal with her illness and the death of Stan – a part of me is saddened that there will be no more books that I will have to hide from my mother (she would NOT approve).

I am lucky- there are a few series and books I have not read yet. The jury is still out on her new religious series – not because I don’t like religious books (I am a grad of ORU for pete’s sake) but because so far – it seems boring!

Oh Anne – my vampire soul weeps for you. Come back our dark mistress of the underworld.

MSNBC Article

MONEY - Its Sucks.

2005-10-21T14:08:00.000-05:00

1 Timothy 6:10
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

So I begin today with a scripture from the Bible. I often think about this scripture when I am feeling “poor” – mind you I have been “poor”. There have been days in my past where I had to skip meals for lack of flow to purchase food, but I have not really lived in poverty. I have seen poverty on foreign trips.

That’s not what I wanted to speak about though – My rant today is why does crap cost so much and why do I feel the need to buy it/have it?

We recently had to invest in a little larger car. I am cheap or frugal, whatever you want to call me. Of course, I picked out a very reliable, economic car. Luckily, it is nearly new (nice), but yet I actually got red and flushed waiting to sign the papers –why- $ Money! I will talk myself in and out of purchases to save money, yet if my hubby wants it…I try to get it for him. Why is this? I have no idea.

My spouse and I make about the same, we both have Master’s degrees- but somehow I don’t think of it as “my money.” My best friend and her spouse make more money, live in a larger home and drive more expensive cars – do I get jealous – OF COURSE! I hate knowing I worked so hard to get to my Masters (hubby too) and it seems we still have the same lifestyle, yet we make a bit more money. Sigh….

The bottom line is that I need to learn to live a more simplified, cheaper lifestyle. In this area, how does one do this and not feel like a total loser?

MOVE OVER!

2005-10-13T09:29:00.000-05:00

Well it has been awhile since I have posted - working 14 hour days takes up a lot of time.

I thought I would rant today about Starbucks! While I do love my morning Java, it’s the people who frequent the ‘Bucks that have me in a huff. Why Oh Why Can’t they MOVE OVER! You order and stand to the side of the bar Â but NOOOOOO most people decide the barista will work faster if they hover in everyone's way. So when your drink is called, they are in your way. What about the coffee station area -with the sugar, creamer and etc. People love to stand in the middle here as well. HEY IDIOT -MOVE OVER to the SIDE for OTHER PEOPLE CAN FIX THEIRCCOFFEEOFFEEE! I especially love the people who sprinkle a little cinnamon, stir and taste- OVER AND OVER AGAIN. You would think they know how much to sprinkle!

OK, I am going back to my coffee now..................

Sale O The Century!

2005-08-30T07:32:00.000-05:00

We acquired this lovely yellow occasional chest at the MasterCraft Warehouse sale for over 50% off original price!

Great deal! I love to share in a good deal. Alas it was the last one and I was beating people away with a stick!

Let's stop the discrimination!

2005-08-29T07:41:00.000-05:00

I may not be a minority, but I know discrimination! I think its finally time to talk about something near and dear to my heart. The way fat people are treated. As a voluptuous diva myself, I have faced criticism for my size. Even after losing over 60lbs recently, I am still very much "fat" .I, think the thing that bothers people is that I am with who I am. Do I want lose more weight – Yes, I do. Will it change who I am - NO!

I started packing on weight about 12/13. Now, my mother is overweight and she assumed that my life would be over if I gained weight. The answer was to make comments like "your butt looks like the broad side of a barn in that dress. She thought this would make me eat less, lose weight instead it only made me angry, and want to eat more. In fact, I was bulimic on and off for about 7 years. When I told her this, her response was “You were not, you were never skinny enough.” Oh yes, I was and it was the only thing at the time that helped me maintain some sanity. I gave up that lifestyle years ago and as a result started to gain weight. She never once said I was ugly, but she had said (and this was in the last few years) that my husband would leave me if I did not lose some weight. I admit, I gained about 50 lbs over the last 8 years of marriage. You want to know what my honey does not care about the weight. He likes a little "junk in the trunk” and when we married I was overweight anyway. He knew that I was having were health related and wanted to lose it for that reason (he gained about the same amount as me over the years so we started on South Beach last year. In about 6 months, I lost 65lbs and he lost 50lbs. I have been stalled for the last 7 months, but have continued to eat the same way (I need to exercise more).

What I hate is how overweight people are treated. For the morbidly obese, I feel sorry for them. You do not know the reason for their weight. Not everyone eats too much. In fact, I found out last year that I have a metabolic syndrome that I have probably had since I was 12/13 (see the correlation to the weight gain) that made it hard for me to lose weight even when I tried. In college, I ate low fat, low calories and worked out 5-6 days a week. The smallest I ever wore was a 14/16. I was toned, but still large. Is being fat healthy No it’s not – but it does not make you less of person or mean that you lack willpower. So stop staring and teach your children that it is not OK to make comments or stare. On the other side of the coin though, I am tired of seeing gastric bypass patients being exalted for their weight loss. Sure, they lose tons of weight– but it is from surgery– not from working at it. How about really try to diet first! I know in some cases, I have tried everything and nothing work is a fallacy. Get tested for other health issues that might contribute to your weight gain and prevent you from losing. It worked for me– but I realize I still have a long way to go. Again, in some cases, it may be the only way, but seeing people 100lbs overweight risk their life is maddening. One in 100 gastric patients die and over 75% gain their weight back in 5 years. If are 200lbs or more overweight– gastric be the right path. Be honest with yourself I had to and it was an awakening.

I will never be a size 9 I don’t even aspire to that notion. Sure, losing more weight would be good but I will not repeat the mistakes of my past to get there. So next time you see us people do not take a second glance– just walk right on by.

The funk of 40,000 years

2005-08-26T08:06:00.000-05:00

Ever have one of those days that seems to last forever? It has been that way for a few weeks now. After a terrible 2004 and a pretty rotten 1st half of 2005, I cannot seem to get out of this funk. Would I call myself depressed – I am not sure. I function at a high level at work (because I know I have to do that), but at night and the weekends – I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep. Nothing seems to get and keep me happy. I know, “happiness comes from within” and that just it – I don’t think anything makes me happy anymore. Even the material things which are the foundation of my universe don’t bring me the same joy as they once did. Sure a great deal on a Kate Spade purse at the Rack gets me excited, but its short lived. My life seems empty. I have Marc and the “Kids” – but I feel like I need more. When I was going to school, that consumed so much of my time – I don’t think I had as much time to dwell on it. My work hours are pretty long at the new job (which I am enjoying), that does not leave much extra time in the evening for extra curricular. The journey to the center of my soul continues.

Tryptophan Puppies

2005-08-25T07:11:00.000-05:00

My children have a tryptophan effect. That’s right, snuggle up with one of cute babies and you will be lulled asleep. Jay, the white one, is the worst offender. He loves the couch, love to snuggle close….within a few minutes you are snoozing right along with him.

I am reminded of the Pokeman character – Jigglypuff - she sings you to sleep and then draws all over your face. The "kids" lull you to sleep and B will proceed to get in trouble.

As winter approaches, you will find me knee deep in Shih Tzu.

BTW - ARE THEY NOT THE CUTEST DOGS EVER!

Still in the dumps

2005-08-24T07:52:00.000-05:00

It is another day and I am still down in the dumps today. There is a lot going on right now with the new jobs and other things. My friend Heather is doing well, which makes me very happy. I am still worrying over things that I cannot control and letting disappointment in life strip away my joy. I have been praying a lot lately for peace and a return of my joy. It seems that I have not had true joy in a very long time. Time will tell.

Way down in the Dumps!

2005-08-23T09:06:00.000-05:00

I am a little depressed right now, as there are a lot of things to be worried over right now in my life. I think the worst part in feeling down is trying to concentrate at work. Sure, I try to concentrate, but I always end up with my mind wandering off to dwell on things. I am the kind of person who worries about everything – always have been and I don’t see that changing. How many 11 year old’s have ulcers? Well, I did. I also have IBS and acid reflux, all pretty much caused by how I don’t handle stress or worry very well. At one point, a doctor suggested I drop out of college for a semester to give myself a break. I will try to keep my head up and make it through another day.

Lifetime: Television for battered or psychotic women

2005-08-22T09:16:00.000-05:00

OK, I admit it – I watch television. I am fan of some of the makeover shows and sit-coms. One of my new faves happens to be Rescue Me on FX. What I want to know is what is up with the Lifetime network? Its television for women who get beat up, get knocked up as a kid or women down on their luck. Rarely do we see a those feel good stories where the woman is not raped, beaten or out to kill. Sure, in the end – we usually see a woman triumph over the odds. As a modern female, I am appalled! But alas, I am still drawn into tales of a childless woman who seeks revenge on those who gave her an unapproved hysterectomy (Maternal Instincts) or the young teen “keeping her baby” (Fifteen and Pregnant) … Some of my favorite television actress’ are selling their souls to Lifetime –Delta Burke, Dana Delany and Mariska Hargitay! Does this mean that after a certain age, women can only get roles on made-for-TV movies? FOR SHAME HOLLYWOOD, FOR SHAME! So rally around your slightly middle-aged actress’ and save them from Lifetime’s clutches. On the other hand, Lifetime don’t stop what you are doing…its like a train wreck, you don’t want to watch…but you do!

Welcome to my blog

2005-08-20T21:41:00.000-05:00

I am a self-proclaimed diva who in her mind is still 24. The curvy part is obvious, so we won't talk about that. After reading more of my friends (Hey Fred and Heather) and my hubby's blog (Hey Baby), I thought that I should share my wisdom with the world. I also think I need to have a place to gripe and complain about the injustices of the world. I am easily bored, so who know where the blog will take us!

Welcome to my twisted world where it IS all about ME!