Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Sale O The Century!

We acquired this lovely yellow occasional chest at the MasterCraft Warehouse sale for over 50% off original price!

Great deal! I love to share in a good deal. Alas it was the last one and I was beating people away with a stick!

Monday, August 29, 2005

Let's stop the discrimination!

I may not be a minority, but I know discrimination! I think its finally time to talk about something near and dear to my heart. The way fat people are treated. As a voluptuous diva myself, I have faced criticism for my size. Even after losing over 60lbs recently, I am still very much "fat" .I, think the thing that bothers people is that I am with who I am. Do I want lose more weight – Yes, I do. Will it change who I am - NO!

I started packing on weight about 12/13. Now, my mother is overweight and she assumed that my life would be over if I gained weight. The answer was to make comments like "your butt looks like the broad side of a barn in that dress. She thought this would make me eat less, lose weight instead it only made me angry, and want to eat more. In fact, I was bulimic on and off for about 7 years. When I told her this, her response was “You were not, you were never skinny enough.” Oh yes, I was and it was the only thing at the time that helped me maintain some sanity. I gave up that lifestyle years ago and as a result started to gain weight. She never once said I was ugly, but she had said (and this was in the last few years) that my husband would leave me if I did not lose some weight. I admit, I gained about 50 lbs over the last 8 years of marriage. You want to know what my honey does not care about the weight. He likes a little "junk in the trunk” and when we married I was overweight anyway. He knew that I was having were health related and wanted to lose it for that reason (he gained about the same amount as me over the years so we started on South Beach last year. In about 6 months, I lost 65lbs and he lost 50lbs. I have been stalled for the last 7 months, but have continued to eat the same way (I need to exercise more).

What I hate is how overweight people are treated. For the morbidly obese, I feel sorry for them. You do not know the reason for their weight. Not everyone eats too much. In fact, I found out last year that I have a metabolic syndrome that I have probably had since I was 12/13 (see the correlation to the weight gain) that made it hard for me to lose weight even when I tried. In college, I ate low fat, low calories and worked out 5-6 days a week. The smallest I ever wore was a 14/16. I was toned, but still large. Is being fat healthy No it’s not ‚– but it does not make you less of person or mean that you lack willpower. So stop staring and teach your children that it is not OK to make comments or stare. On the other side of the coin though, I am tired of seeing gastric bypass patients being exalted for their weight loss. Sure, they lose tons of weight– but it is from surgery– not from working at it. How about really try to diet first! I know in some cases, I have tried everything and nothing work is a fallacy. Get tested for other health issues that might contribute to your weight gain and prevent you from losing. It worked for me– but I realize I still have a long way to go. Again, in some cases, it may be the only way, but seeing people 100lbs overweight risk their life is maddening. One in 100 gastric patients die and over 75% gain their weight back in 5 years. If are 200lbs or more overweight– gastric be the right path. Be honest with yourself I had to and it was an awakening.

I will never be a size 9 I don’t even aspire to that notion. Sure, losing more weight would be good but I will not repeat the mistakes of my past to get there. So next time you see us people do not take a second glance– just walk right on by.

Friday, August 26, 2005

The funk of 40,000 years

Ever have one of those days that seems to last forever? It has been that way for a few weeks now. After a terrible 2004 and a pretty rotten 1st half of 2005, I cannot seem to get out of this funk. Would I call myself depressed – I am not sure. I function at a high level at work (because I know I have to do that), but at night and the weekends – I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep. Nothing seems to get and keep me happy. I know, “happiness comes from within” and that just it – I don’t think anything makes me happy anymore. Even the material things which are the foundation of my universe don’t bring me the same joy as they once did. Sure a great deal on a Kate Spade purse at the Rack gets me excited, but its short lived. My life seems empty. I have Marc and the “Kids” – but I feel like I need more. When I was going to school, that consumed so much of my time – I don’t think I had as much time to dwell on it. My work hours are pretty long at the new job (which I am enjoying), that does not leave much extra time in the evening for extra curricular. The journey to the center of my soul continues.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Tryptophan Puppies

My children have a tryptophan effect. That’s right, snuggle up with one of cute babies and you will be lulled asleep. Jay, the white one, is the worst offender. He loves the couch, love to snuggle close….within a few minutes you are snoozing right along with him.

I am reminded of the Pokeman character – Jigglypuff - she sings you to sleep and then draws all over your face. The "kids" lull you to sleep and B will proceed to get in trouble.

As winter approaches, you will find me knee deep in Shih Tzu.


Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Still in the dumps

It is another day and I am still down in the dumps today. There is a lot going on right now with the new jobs and other things. My friend Heather is doing well, which makes me very happy. I am still worrying over things that I cannot control and letting disappointment in life strip away my joy. I have been praying a lot lately for peace and a return of my joy. It seems that I have not had true joy in a very long time. Time will tell.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Way down in the Dumps!

I am a little depressed right now, as there are a lot of things to be worried over right now in my life. I think the worst part in feeling down is trying to concentrate at work. Sure, I try to concentrate, but I always end up with my mind wandering off to dwell on things. I am the kind of person who worries about everything – always have been and I don’t see that changing. How many 11 year old’s have ulcers? Well, I did. I also have IBS and acid reflux, all pretty much caused by how I don’t handle stress or worry very well. At one point, a doctor suggested I drop out of college for a semester to give myself a break. I will try to keep my head up and make it through another day.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Lifetime: Television for battered or psychotic women

OK, I admit it – I watch television. I am fan of some of the makeover shows and sit-coms. One of my new faves happens to be Rescue Me on FX. What I want to know is what is up with the Lifetime network? Its television for women who get beat up, get knocked up as a kid or women down on their luck. Rarely do we see a those feel good stories where the woman is not raped, beaten or out to kill. Sure, in the end – we usually see a woman triumph over the odds. As a modern female, I am appalled! But alas, I am still drawn into tales of a childless woman who seeks revenge on those who gave her an unapproved hysterectomy (Maternal Instincts) or the young teen “keeping her baby” (Fifteen and Pregnant) … Some of my favorite television actress’ are selling their souls to Lifetime –Delta Burke, Dana Delany and Mariska Hargitay! Does this mean that after a certain age, women can only get roles on made-for-TV movies? FOR SHAME HOLLYWOOD, FOR SHAME! So rally around your slightly middle-aged actress’ and save them from Lifetime’s clutches. On the other hand, Lifetime don’t stop what you are doing…its like a train wreck, you don’t want to watch…but you do!

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Welcome to my blog

I am a self-proclaimed diva who in her mind is still 24. The curvy part is obvious, so we won't talk about that. After reading more of my friends (Hey Fred and Heather) and my hubby's blog (Hey Baby), I thought that I should share my wisdom with the world. I also think I need to have a place to gripe and complain about the injustices of the world. I am easily bored, so who know where the blog will take us!

Welcome to my twisted world where it IS all about ME!