Friday, August 26, 2005
The funk of 40,000 years
Ever have one of those days that seems to last forever? It has been that way for a few weeks now. After a terrible 2004 and a pretty rotten 1st half of 2005, I cannot seem to get out of this funk. Would I call myself depressed – I am not sure. I function at a high level at work (because I know I have to do that), but at night and the weekends – I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep. Nothing seems to get and keep me happy. I know, “happiness comes from within” and that just it – I don’t think anything makes me happy anymore. Even the material things which are the foundation of my universe don’t bring me the same joy as they once did. Sure a great deal on a Kate Spade purse at the Rack gets me excited, but its short lived. My life seems empty. I have Marc and the “Kids” – but I feel like I need more. When I was going to school, that consumed so much of my time – I don’t think I had as much time to dwell on it. My work hours are pretty long at the new job (which I am enjoying), that does not leave much extra time in the evening for extra curricular. The journey to the center of my soul continues.