Tuesday, November 29, 2005

PANIC

The effects of the allergic reaction are starting to wear off – finally. I am able to move pretty well and have only had a few flare-ups. I am reducing the steriod – which can cause extreme fatigue and more flare-ups.

Right now, I am dealing with an old friend of mine – Anxiety attacks. I have a lot – a lot of stress in my life right now. I am currently very very concerned about my J-O-B. It seemed when I was hired – there was a ton of work. Now, we are waiting for contracts and for some reason…My mgr thinks I am a sales person, who need to drum up some contracts. I am a Program/Project Mgr – not a sales mgr. Plus, I don’t even know about 90% of the contracts we have going on.

Well, let’s just say I am terrified of getting laid off again this year – since right now, I make the most money. In addition – It’s not the best time for me to even look for a job (more about that in a few wks).
So my panic attacks are back. They start simple – I worry and then my heart races. It usually ends up with me shaking, breathless and ill.

I am at a point where I just don’t know what to do.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Still in Pain -Feeling like a MLB player...

Well Tuesday I was feeling better, but started to swell up terribly that night. Ended up back at Dr’s on Wednesday – barely able to move. DH had to dress me and drive me around. I was put on a stronger, longer lasting steroid since I was swollen like a balloon. I managed to work Wednesday by typing with one finger on my left hand.

The new steroids have started to make a small difference, but I am still in a lot of pain. Going to NYC tomorrow- that should be fun…NOT!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Antibiotics are EVIL!

Well the last few weeks have been a living hell! First, I get a very serious sinus infection. I spent about 5 days with a fever going from 100 to 102.7 off and on. I ended up in the ER at 3:45 a.m. when my temp went over 103. I was told that it’s just a sinus infection, so take the antibiotics. We got some other potentially bad news on Tuesday, November 8th that caused me a lot of stress. Well on Wednesday, I started getting little red hives on my chest. I figured it was stress and I had gotten really warm.

On Thursday, November 10th – more stressful news about our office eventually moving to Nova – that’s when I noticed the red blotches had moved on to my arms. Come Friday – I had red hives on my back, chest, arms, one leg and my stomach. My back and arm itched like there was no tomorrow. I also noticed that my left shoulder really hurt. Figuring I had slept on it funny – I did not think anything of it.

Come Saturday – I had more hives and my other leg had broken out. I was taking Benedryl every 4 hours, oatmeal baths and was covered in every cream that we could find at the drugstore. The ones on my arms and chest started to not be so raised and itchy. My back was still bothering me and my other shoulder now hurt. Well I finally make it Sunday and that’s when all hell broke lose. The places that had started to heal now got little raised bumps that itched like crazy. All my joints started to hurt and swell. Marc got me wrist braces, since my wrists were really swollen. I was thinking I had LUPUS or an RA attack – of which I don’t think I have either – I was grasping at straws. I was about to have a nervous breakdown. I could not sleep, eat, or get any relief. I think I prayed for God to take me home a few times. I was running DH crazy as well, since nothing seemed to help.

Finally about 4 am on Monday morning – a baking soda pack, Claritin-D and Benedryl allowed me to get about 3 hours sleep. My joints were even more sore – now even my toes hurt. I went to the Dr. yesterday about 2:30 – to find out – I was ALLERGIC TO THE ANTIBIOTIC that I was given for the sinus infection. I had taken this kind before with no reaction – but low and behold – I now have an allergy. I am experiencing an auto-immune reaction. This means my immune system is attacking my joints to rid itself of the “invader” – I feel like I am 95. I am on steroids, but it will take a few days to start to work. I actually slept for a 4 hrs straight last night – which is something I had not done in well over a week.

I am still very sore and can barely move. My throat is so sore, I can barely swallow – but I am just happy to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.