Tuesday, November 29, 2005

PANIC

The effects of the allergic reaction are starting to wear off – finally. I am able to move pretty well and have only had a few flare-ups. I am reducing the steriod – which can cause extreme fatigue and more flare-ups.

Right now, I am dealing with an old friend of mine – Anxiety attacks. I have a lot – a lot of stress in my life right now. I am currently very very concerned about my J-O-B. It seemed when I was hired – there was a ton of work. Now, we are waiting for contracts and for some reason…My mgr thinks I am a sales person, who need to drum up some contracts. I am a Program/Project Mgr – not a sales mgr. Plus, I don’t even know about 90% of the contracts we have going on.

Well, let’s just say I am terrified of getting laid off again this year – since right now, I make the most money. In addition – It’s not the best time for me to even look for a job (more about that in a few wks).
So my panic attacks are back. They start simple – I worry and then my heart races. It usually ends up with me shaking, breathless and ill.

I am at a point where I just don’t know what to do.

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