Monday, August 29, 2005

Let's stop the discrimination!

I may not be a minority, but I know discrimination! I think its finally time to talk about something near and dear to my heart. The way fat people are treated. As a voluptuous diva myself, I have faced criticism for my size. Even after losing over 60lbs recently, I am still very much "fat" .I, think the thing that bothers people is that I am with who I am. Do I want lose more weight – Yes, I do. Will it change who I am - NO!

I started packing on weight about 12/13. Now, my mother is overweight and she assumed that my life would be over if I gained weight. The answer was to make comments like "your butt looks like the broad side of a barn in that dress. She thought this would make me eat less, lose weight instead it only made me angry, and want to eat more. In fact, I was bulimic on and off for about 7 years. When I told her this, her response was “You were not, you were never skinny enough.” Oh yes, I was and it was the only thing at the time that helped me maintain some sanity. I gave up that lifestyle years ago and as a result started to gain weight. She never once said I was ugly, but she had said (and this was in the last few years) that my husband would leave me if I did not lose some weight. I admit, I gained about 50 lbs over the last 8 years of marriage. You want to know what my honey does not care about the weight. He likes a little "junk in the trunk” and when we married I was overweight anyway. He knew that I was having were health related and wanted to lose it for that reason (he gained about the same amount as me over the years so we started on South Beach last year. In about 6 months, I lost 65lbs and he lost 50lbs. I have been stalled for the last 7 months, but have continued to eat the same way (I need to exercise more).

What I hate is how overweight people are treated. For the morbidly obese, I feel sorry for them. You do not know the reason for their weight. Not everyone eats too much. In fact, I found out last year that I have a metabolic syndrome that I have probably had since I was 12/13 (see the correlation to the weight gain) that made it hard for me to lose weight even when I tried. In college, I ate low fat, low calories and worked out 5-6 days a week. The smallest I ever wore was a 14/16. I was toned, but still large. Is being fat healthy No it’s not ‚– but it does not make you less of person or mean that you lack willpower. So stop staring and teach your children that it is not OK to make comments or stare. On the other side of the coin though, I am tired of seeing gastric bypass patients being exalted for their weight loss. Sure, they lose tons of weight– but it is from surgery– not from working at it. How about really try to diet first! I know in some cases, I have tried everything and nothing work is a fallacy. Get tested for other health issues that might contribute to your weight gain and prevent you from losing. It worked for me– but I realize I still have a long way to go. Again, in some cases, it may be the only way, but seeing people 100lbs overweight risk their life is maddening. One in 100 gastric patients die and over 75% gain their weight back in 5 years. If are 200lbs or more overweight– gastric be the right path. Be honest with yourself I had to and it was an awakening.

I will never be a size 9 I don’t even aspire to that notion. Sure, losing more weight would be good but I will not repeat the mistakes of my past to get there. So next time you see us people do not take a second glance– just walk right on by.


Heather said...

Here, here! Congrats on your weight loss so far, that is great! I know how hard it can be. You know me, I'm definitely not a small person. I too, have always had weight issues. I look back now when I was in high school wearing a size 12 and remember how huge I felt. If I was a size 12 now I would be wearing a bikini on the beach! People can be so cruel & critical. When I got pregnant with Zoe I was at my heaviest ever. This was a time when I was suppose to feel "special", I felt depressed. Strangers could not tell I was pregnant, they just thought I was really fat. I never had that perfect basketball belly. I would wear maternity shirts, hoping someone would say something. I was in Best Buy one day & the cashier made a comment, she had no idea how happy that made me. I actually cried when I got to my car. With Brody I actually started to look pregnant earlier, but still did not have that perfectly shaped belly. Not too mention the doctor's and nurses that just assumed I had gestational diabetes because of my size when in fact I passed the 1-hour glucose test with both babies with flying colors.

After Brody was born Fred & I did Atkins and both lost about 80-90 lbs combined. It helped get the preganancy weight off & I am now 20 lbs lighter than when I got pregnant with Zoe, but no where near what I need/want to be. If I can lose another 50 pounds I will be at a place that I can live with. Won't be my "ideal" weight according to gov't charts, but who cares! I too, need to exercise more, but it's hard running with these two to find the extra energy (not a valid excuse, I know). Ugh, I can go on & on but this comment is already long enough! I'll just end with I know exactly how you feel!

CurvyDiva said...

I had OB tell me that if I got pregnant I would get GD and have high blood pressure. If that's not enough, she told me I would probably die.

Oh yes, did I mention that my feet were in the stirrups at the time!

Well I put about 10 lbs back on from the stress of both Marc and I getting laid off this year, but I am trying to get back on it.

Yeah another 60 lbs will still put me far from the government chart, but its a place that I can live with. I know the feeling, I was a 14 in high school and would kill to be that size again.